If Gay Men Marry Your Girlfriends, Will Bi Guys Do It Too?

Jay told me about this video called “Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends.” It’s this video where all these gay guys claim that if gay marriage isn’t allowed, they will respond by marrying straight guys’ girlfriends. If you haven’t seen it, you can check it out above. It’s pretty funny.

The gay guys go through all the reasons why they would make better husbands than straight men. For example, they dress better, they can cook fancy breakfasts, they like to go to art galleries, and so on…

The video got me thinking… since I’m dating a bi guy, I should be entitled to at least some of the perks of dating a gay guy- let’s just pick a number at random; I’d say about 50%, give or take. Seems fair, right? I brought this up to Jay, and pointed out that he doesn’t do any of the stuff that the gay guys in the video brag about. He countered, saying that in fact he does a lot of it. So I’ve taken it upon myself to go down the list and figure out if I would in fact be better off with a gay guy. Let’s  have a look:

1. Being ripped/working out all the time. The gay guys explain that all gay men are in great shape, even though it does not seem statistically possible, because gay men love going to the gym. In fairness, Jay is also ripped and loves going to the gym. The only thing he loves more than going to the gym is… going to the gym when that random tall brunette guy asks him for a spot. #lame. #orhot. #imnotsure.  So fine. One point for Jay.
Jay: 1/ Sydney & Gay Men: 0

"We will got the gym... and after get Pinkberry as a reward"

“We will got the gym… and after get Pinkberry as a reward”

2. Dressing better. Jay doesn’t dress badly, but he’s a far cry from fabulous. Even he admits this. He says that gay men judge him for it. As  they should.
Jay: 1/ Sydney & Gay Men: 1

"While you were busy spilling manwhich on your cargo shorts, we were inspecting our oxfords..."

“While you were busy spilling manwhich on your cargo shorts, we were inspecting our oxfords…”

3. Making quiche for breakfast. With a side of hummus. Made from scratch. Jay has never made me quiche. Pretty sure he doesn’t know how. I’m not really sure if he can cook or not, but I think he can’t. He pointed out that I don’t even like quiche, and I was impressed that he remembered that, but this contest is not about remembering things.
Jay: 1/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

"Do you even know the difference between hummus and babaganoush?"

“Do you even know the difference between hummus and babaganoush?”

4. Wanting to go out dancing. Alright, so Jay loves dancing. This is actually a super easy date we can both agree on.
Jay: 2/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

5. Wanting to see Broadway shows. Jay responded to this one saying, “Dude, I’ll go to theatre shows or whatever. I’m totally down for that shit.” Not expressed as articulately as the gay guys, but I guess he technically agreed, so one point for him.
Jay: 3/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

6. Listening to girls for hours and reassuring them the other girl is the one being a bitch. Jay would probably do this if I wanted to tell him about my friend problems, but I don’t. Most of my friends are guys, and I can see for myself when they are being bitches, no reassurance needed. I think this one’s a draw.
Jay: 3/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

7. Two guy three-way. We’ve never done this, but I feel like if we did, Jay would just complain the whole time. (That it was too crowded, or the air conditioning wasn’t on, or… whatever).
Jay: 3/ Sydney & Gay Men: 3

"And the kind of threesome she wants? Oh, we're cool with that."

“And the kind of threesome she wants? Oh, we’re cool with that.”

I didn’t plan this, but it actually worked out exactly 50/50 (or 3/3, I suppose). So that settles it. Ladies if you are looking for a step up from straight, but not ready to go full gay, might I suggest a bi guy? If you can find one that makes quiche, you’ve even got me beat.

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “If Gay Men Marry Your Girlfriends, Will Bi Guys Do It Too?

  1. LuckyBastard

    I really liked this article, it was funny and honest. And I guess you are right, if you go bi you can’t go wrong, either way lol

  2. I would lose that test if I were in Jay’s place. I was raised to be a good Southern boy. I can’t do most of that stuff, hell I don’t even know what some of that food is! so I am definitely voting for gay marriage. It is one funny clip, I pplayed it for my wife.

  3. Kiara

    Hi there, this isn’t connected to your latest post (except LOL, nice), but I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and just wanted to say how much I enjoy it! I always get a good laugh out your funny take on things. 🙂 Also, I’m a bi girl and I really appreciate how you’ve taken up the bisexual cause (especially for bi guys–they definitely get a worse rap than us bi girls). You’re awesome! Thanks for keeping this blog!

  4. disconcerted72

    ROFL! That was hilarious…
    Although, I have to admit, when first reading the title my first thought was “Is this with or without the girlfriend’s consent?” Good thing I don’t judge a book by it’s cover, huh?

    Now, however, I’m tempted to do my own comparison as to the…ahem…”gay” or “girly”, if you will, things I want to do that my wife doesn’t.

  5. I really enjoyed this and, by the way, I can make quiche. I think I’d match up fairly even with a gay guy except going to the gym – the stroke I had makes exercising difficult. And I sure wouldn’t mind that last thing… as long as I got to taste him…

  6. V

    That was awesome!. I married a bi guy. He does have the gay guys beat, with the exception of the Broadway shows. But even I am meh on those so its all good! 🙂

  7. Jim

    If I were Jay I would slap your ass until it was red and then tell you to bring some girlfriends home to suck my cock.

    • Bahahahahahah! Kinky 😛
      Jay’s not really into three ways or anything like that. He’s pretty much only into monogamy. I’ve got some cute girl friends too, but even if I could talk any of them into it, I don’t think Jay would be down.

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