Monthly Archives: March 2014

Sydney Responds to Top Search Questions

What weird searches lead to my blog?

What weird searches lead to my blog?

I obtained a list of search terms that have connected users to my blog, and it got me thinking: When people find my blog, what were they searching for? A lot of the searches were questions, and unfortunately, my blog did not necessarily answer them directly. The blog was usually just about a related topic. A few of the questions were odd, made no sense, and had some interesting grammar. But I decided to give the people what they want and respond directly to the searches that people are looking for. That way, when my blog shows up, they will say, “HEY! That is exactly what I was looking for, even though my question was super weird and obscure!” So lets respond to some of the top searches:

  • “how can a woman tell if your boyfriend is bisexual”

You have to order a special Bisexual Test Kit from a pharmaceutical company. Follow the directions to mix the solution, and splash it on his skin. If it turns blue, you have a bi on your hands.

  • “do any women like bisexual men ????”

Yeah dude. Right here.

  • “had sex with a gay guy i’m straight”

No you’re not 😉

  • “straight sportsmen hard confused gay sex porn”

I don’t even know what this is but… #hot??

  • “if a girl is gay and she do it to a boy is that cheating”

I’m not the authority on lesbian cheating, but this is my blog so I make the rules. Sydney declares: Yes. Yes it is.

  • “how to get a bi guy to come over”

I’ve tried a few things that usually work: Craft Beers, Box seats at the game, Perfect cut of steak

  • “deduced forced bi”

Is this some kind of porn thing?

  • “how to handle hearing your boyfriend has bisexual”

How did he catch it? IT’S SPREADING!

  • “if your boyfriend is bi and your a girl and straight what do you do?”

Go out to dinner at Joel Robuchon. Best date ever.

  • “i’m a dude and i fucked my best man friend”

#hot

  • “i tried the gay thing its not for me”

#thatsfine

  • “how to seducing your best friend who is a boy and not even gay while you are”

Ooh… that’s ambitious. If you figure it out, I’d love to hear.

  • “woman or girl or wife or girlfriend “freakishly strong” or “scary strong””

Hahahaha. Awesome. I don’t know how this search got connected to my blog, but this is an awesome search.

  • “what color speedos do bisexual men prefer”

Black, in my experience. Jay has one speedo and its black.

  • “why is sydney so angry”

Hahahaha! The internet knows I’m angry.

  • “i’m a bisexual boy how do i ask a boy out?”

Aww! Cute. Be yourself. Be confident. Everyone will love you.

I’m thinking I might write a serious article later and  answer the questions that people are actually wondering about. (For example, an article about “how to handle hearing your boyfriend is bi” but not “straight sportsmen hard confused gay sex porn”). Stay tuned and check back!

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If Gay Men Marry Your Girlfriends, Will Bi Guys Do It Too?

Jay told me about this video called “Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends.” It’s this video where all these gay guys claim that if gay marriage isn’t allowed, they will respond by marrying straight guys’ girlfriends. If you haven’t seen it, you can check it out above. It’s pretty funny.

The gay guys go through all the reasons why they would make better husbands than straight men. For example, they dress better, they can cook fancy breakfasts, they like to go to art galleries, and so on…

The video got me thinking… since I’m dating a bi guy, I should be entitled to at least some of the perks of dating a gay guy- let’s just pick a number at random; I’d say about 50%, give or take. Seems fair, right? I brought this up to Jay, and pointed out that he doesn’t do any of the stuff that the gay guys in the video brag about. He countered, saying that in fact he does a lot of it. So I’ve taken it upon myself to go down the list and figure out if I would in fact be better off with a gay guy. Let’s  have a look:

1. Being ripped/working out all the time. The gay guys explain that all gay men are in great shape, even though it does not seem statistically possible, because gay men love going to the gym. In fairness, Jay is also ripped and loves going to the gym. The only thing he loves more than going to the gym is… going to the gym when that random tall brunette guy asks him for a spot. #lame. #orhot. #imnotsure.  So fine. One point for Jay.
Jay: 1/ Sydney & Gay Men: 0

"We will got the gym... and after get Pinkberry as a reward"

“We will got the gym… and after get Pinkberry as a reward”

2. Dressing better. Jay doesn’t dress badly, but he’s a far cry from fabulous. Even he admits this. He says that gay men judge him for it. As  they should.
Jay: 1/ Sydney & Gay Men: 1

"While you were busy spilling manwhich on your cargo shorts, we were inspecting our oxfords..."

“While you were busy spilling manwhich on your cargo shorts, we were inspecting our oxfords…”

3. Making quiche for breakfast. With a side of hummus. Made from scratch. Jay has never made me quiche. Pretty sure he doesn’t know how. I’m not really sure if he can cook or not, but I think he can’t. He pointed out that I don’t even like quiche, and I was impressed that he remembered that, but this contest is not about remembering things.
Jay: 1/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

"Do you even know the difference between hummus and babaganoush?"

“Do you even know the difference between hummus and babaganoush?”

4. Wanting to go out dancing. Alright, so Jay loves dancing. This is actually a super easy date we can both agree on.
Jay: 2/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

5. Wanting to see Broadway shows. Jay responded to this one saying, “Dude, I’ll go to theatre shows or whatever. I’m totally down for that shit.” Not expressed as articulately as the gay guys, but I guess he technically agreed, so one point for him.
Jay: 3/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

6. Listening to girls for hours and reassuring them the other girl is the one being a bitch. Jay would probably do this if I wanted to tell him about my friend problems, but I don’t. Most of my friends are guys, and I can see for myself when they are being bitches, no reassurance needed. I think this one’s a draw.
Jay: 3/ Sydney & Gay Men: 2

7. Two guy three-way. We’ve never done this, but I feel like if we did, Jay would just complain the whole time. (That it was too crowded, or the air conditioning wasn’t on, or… whatever).
Jay: 3/ Sydney & Gay Men: 3

"And the kind of threesome she wants? Oh, we're cool with that."

“And the kind of threesome she wants? Oh, we’re cool with that.”

I didn’t plan this, but it actually worked out exactly 50/50 (or 3/3, I suppose). So that settles it. Ladies if you are looking for a step up from straight, but not ready to go full gay, might I suggest a bi guy? If you can find one that makes quiche, you’ve even got me beat.

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