I have gotten a lot of support for the survey, and I have already learned a lot about bi guys from looking at the wide range of responses I got. I do not want to release the results yet, since I am still trying to get more representation for certain groups, but I did want to share one result that has made me really happy.
While I was thinking of questions for the survey, I asked Jay whether he would still pick to be bi if he could choose between bi, gay, or straight. Apparently, that was an easy question for him- he said he would definitely still want to be bi. I thought that would be his answer, but I also thought he would have to think about it a lot. After all, he has complained about the many trials and tribulations of being a bi male: women don’t want to date you because they think you’ll cheat with a man; men don’t want to date you because they think you’re gay and not ‘out’ yet; one of the doors on your car doesn’t unlock automatically any more (What? Bi men have to deal with this too. I mean, it’s not caused by their sexuality, but it’s still an issue…) Point being, I was pleasantly surprised that Jay was so certain he would still pick to be bi if he had the choice.
I asked him why, and he said, “Come on, it’s way more fun to be bi.” Can’t argue with that.
So, you can imagine that I was equally please when I looked at the survey results, and saw that so far the overwhelming majority of guys who participated would still pick to be bi. How awesome is that? #worthit
So I'm Dating This Bi Guy... 
Well, I know for myself that choice would have fluctuated over the totality of my life. Early on in life, I couldn’t accept I was bi…but I knew I wasn’t straight. And at the time, I hated myself for it. As life went on, I tried to convice myself I was straight and that any “gay” activities I had engaged in were because I was experimenting, or it was because I was molested or whatever…. Eventually, however, as my thoughts evolved, I began to accept that I am bisexual…and JAy is right: I had way more fun being who I was instead of trying to be what others wanted me to be.
Jay’s quite right – being bi is a lot of fun! Sure, it’s not without its problems – but you could say the same thing about being straight or being gay. If I could go back and do it all over again, I’d still want to be bi!
Jay is right, it’s simply more fun.
My biggest issue was that other people required such clarifications that it bordered on being socially rude towards me. Having to explain to strangers for something that came as naturally to me as breathing, in public was very tiresome after a while. I didn’t have a problem with it so I couldn’t understand at the time how others could either.
I think the most crucial part for me was that back then I thought I was becoming gay. I was a teen and I thought silly things like that because I didn’t know any better. Now I’m in my 20’s, I don’t worry about it because it simply never happened.
I’m very pleased that the results showed a higher percentage of the fact most guys -given the choice- would remain Bi. It’s a pretty damned interesting place to be at.
-Pierre-
I agree, I don’t think I’d choose to be anything different.
The thing I like most about being bi is that it has given me a greater understanding of both the gay and the straight worlds. Not only do I move in both, but I see how the inhabitants of the one world look at the other. And being bi allows me to have a much more fluid, flexible, and nuanced understanding of gender – my own and that of others.
I think it all helps more to be a generally more empathetic and understanding person, and those skills improve my life both personally and professionally. Yup, despite the hassles, we have more fun!
This is exactly what straight and gay people don’t understand about being bi – we have the unique ability to see things from both sides and it’s something that I’ve cherished more than the sex that can be had; gods, being able to see things from more than one point of view can be so valuable in our day to day lives!
Agreed. I think the ability to see things from both sides is truly important. What a great observation. Thanks for sharing!
I had a hard time with this one but at the end of the day I would not change it. I think I would feel limited or less somehow. Being bisexual is just part of who I am so changing it would be to change me in some fundamental way and I don’t think I should care for that at all.
I thoroughly enjoy being bi, and wouldn’t change, but I’d certainly enjoy it a LOT more if I was surrounded by open minded and supportive people like you. I’m not “out” in my bisexuality in my everyday life, but I wish I could be. Otherwise, it is a lot of fun, and I wouldn’t change.
Thank you so much. That is very sweet of you to say 🙂