My name is Sydney, and I’m a straight girl dating an awesome bisexual guy. I wanted to write this blog to give my perspective, and add to the pool of information about male bisexuality.
I’m also looking for answers to a lot of questions I have about the bisexual community, so please respond to my posts if you have anything to add.
Also, PLEASE feel free to ask me questions about anything in my life/relationship. That will give me a lot more to talk about!
I live in Los Angeles; My favorite color is blue; Please be my fwiend.
Privacy/Confidentiality:
Just so you know, I will not write about/publicize/share anything that any one tells me, unless they want me to. If you contact me, email me, take my survey, whatever, I will respect your privacy!
So I'm Dating This Bi Guy... 
Hey Sydney —
I came across your reply to the WordPress guy’s description of Bi-guy thinking.
I am, I guess, a bi/straight guy. I mean, I’m very masculine, married, love to look at women’s bodies — be with women (these days, my wife) — love women’s body parts, all of them — and yet I’ve had my share of being around and getting it on with dudes. I watch Gay porn and it gets me hot. Same with Straight and Lesbian porn.
Any questions? And don’t be afraid to use any language that suits your purpose.
Robert
Wow, thank you so much for reaching out to me. I’m so glad I’ve been able to communicate with other people about this topic.
I’m actually really curious about married bi guys. My boyfriend used to be worried that girls wouldn’t want to settle down with him because they would see his sexuality as an unnecessary complication. It seems like a lot of young guys who think they might be bi automatically freak out because they think they wont be able to have some traditional life they planned. I think it would be great if people saw more examples of married bisexual men; I think the problem is if bi guys get married, people just assume they are straight.
Out of curiosity does your wife know you’re bi? How did she react when she found out.
Hey Sydney —
Always liked the name Sydney for a girl/woman. Something about it.
I must say, that in actuality, I am more a straight guy who is secure enough to not worry about my thoughts or sexual feelings regarding getting together with another guy. It has just always seemed a turn-on to do so. My wife thinks of me as a horny guy who’s got his head together. I’ve always thought of man on man sex as, well, manly. There’s a lot of “straight” guys who feel this way. No lie.
My wife and I have knew each other for a while before we were married. And here’s something, and I hope you don’t take this as some crank thing — she’d even watched me getting it on with guys — so she knew what was happening. She’s not inclined to be Bi, but, like I said, she well knows. These days, I remain faithful on both sides of the fence, but my memories and fantasies are still intact.
Hey, Sydney, it’s kinda weird writing what are essentially emails on out in public on the Internet — isn’t it?
Hahaha, I believe that your wife has watched you fooling around with guys. Actually, I would do that with my boyfriend, though I don’t think he’ll ever offer; I think he assumes that I don’t like to picture him with another man, even though that’s not true.
If you want to email me, my address is sydneysavoigne@gmail.com
Thanks for sharing your perspectives!
Hey there Sydney…I am also a married Bi man who has had few times where I could experience my bisexuality, so I live thru others stories and lives…sad really!!! But My wife used to be bi, we also used to have sex, so thats what really brought me to blogging. I wanted to first off, say that I am so very happy and proud of you for what you are doing and have accepted about your man. I am sure he is a very, very lucky man and as are you, minus the man part…LOL!!!! I would love to be asked any questions you may have about being bi and married…I am an open book!!! Thanks.
Jay
Thank you so much for offering your comments and joining the conversation. I will have questions to ask you! I’m a actually really interested in hearing from married bi guys. We often don’t hear the perspective of married bi men, since people probably assume married bi men are straight.
Well I am definately married, definately Bi and definately read for questions!!!
Hi Sydney,
OK THANK GOD I FOUND THIS BLOG. No one else I have encountered is in this situation. I’m 17, and my boyfriend is bisexual, and he only recently publicly came out. To say that my parents were displeased would be an understatement. I basically get told that he’s just gay and not ready to come out, he’s going to cheat on me, our relationship will go nowhere etc.- on the daily. Oh, and it’s long distance to boot. But I really love him, and I don’t appreciate my family giving me hell. Any advice?
Ok ok and just a side note, he has said he’s predominantly attracted to women and can’t see himself in an emotional relationship with a man.
Wow, I’m glad you found my blog too! Your comment raises a lot of good topics, and I actually want to write a full post about it. Ill probably post something early next week. Stay tuned and hopefully I can come up with something helpful…
Thanks so much 🙂 Also feel free to shoot me an email at katlizvan@yahoo.com, it would help me a lot.
Sydney! I am so happy I found your blog! I am in a relationship with a bisexual guy who has never had a serious relationship with a woman, and has mostly had male sexual encounters. It’s nice to know there are other couples out there like us. What I love the most about dating a bi guy is, well, everything. I feel like I am are more equal with him. We get a dose of healthy concern from our friends, and maybe a few raised eyebrows, but it’s all worth it because we both believe that if you find someone who loves you for exactly who you are, their gender doesn’t matter. And that’s exactly what we did. 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I love hearing from other girls with bi boyfriends; I think if more girls knew of successful couples like this, they wouldn’t be freaked about dating a bi guy. Thanks for reading and commenting ^_^
Hey Sydney!
I’m 15 year-old, my name is George. I’d so glad I found this blog! I’m incredibly grateful! I’d love to email you and exchange messages from time to time. I have many concerns about my sexual orientation. Maybe at a later time I will reveal some more information. My anxiety concerns dating a girl what I really would like to do… but there just a problem appears. I’m not totally straight and as many other guys we hesitate because we suppose no girl would want not straight guy. I have so many worries on my head and I live with that consciousness every day, sometimes it makes me depressed. I hope to have an answer from you! I’m looking forward to it! Bye! Take care!
___________________
George 😉
Hey!
Thanks so much for your comment. I love to hear from readers, especially guys who are reflecting on their own sexuality; the whole reason that I made this blog was to reach out to people. Sorry it took me so long to reply (I’ve been really busy lately!!) I’d love to hear from you via email; I’m at sydneysavoigne@gmail.com
Thanks!
Hey! I love your blog!! I hope you keep writing for it. You give me hope that I’m not gonna get blacklisted by every girl out there for coming out as bi!
Thank you so much! It makes me so happy to hear that. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to write this blog was to spread this message to guys- its totally fine to be bi!
Hey Sydney…very nice blog and much appreciated from yet another guy who is reflecting on his own sexuality within a relationship. It is refreshing to know there are women like yourself who are in a relationship with a bi guy. I am interested to know more of your thoughts from experience in regard to my situation, through email, although it looks like youve already had a few requests!
Hello-
I have gotten a couple requests, but I’m always happy to talk to people via email. That’s why I put up my email address… somewhere… maybe I forgot to post it, but I’m pretty sure I wrote it somewhere on this blog.
It’s sydneysavoigne@gmail.com. Please feel free to email me!
Hello Sydney!
I found your webpage via google and your tales fascinate me! I have been dating this bisexual male since April of last year and I love him. I openly told him one rule, he can fool around with anyome he wants as long as he does not have sex with them… he has fully abided by this rule. I accept him for who he is and vice versa. I hope we can be together for a long time. I want to commend you for dating a bi- guy! Its a beautiful thing!!
I just want to say that, yet agian…LOL…Sydney, you have impressed me. I enjoy very much that you find yourself in a place to be a beacon for others to point out the positives of being with a bi-man.
To Space Cadet…I think you are an amazing woman to not only be ok with him being Bi, but to also be ok with him playing to an extent. Most women, most anyone in a committed relationship would be very against that. I appluad you my dear! You give hope to the hopeless and smiles to frowned!!! Keep in touch!!!!
Hahaha, it is a beautiful thing! Thank you for your comment. I love hearing from other girls dating bi guys.
I think its really interesting to hear about the rules you guys have set up (fooling around, but no sex). Would he be upset if you fooled around with someone else (but didn’t have sex with them)?
There are so many different types of relationships- everyone just has to find what works for them
Wow ok so I wrote a lengthy paragraph, but it did not post!! #lame
Ok so to answer your question he knows I only want to sleep with him! He is young and exploring his sexuality I would never take that away. And its funny because we were discussing this last night!!
I am not rushing our beautiful spiritual journey I have never felt closer to anyone and its because we have COMMUNICATION and omg is it BEAUTIFUL. We discuss EVERYTHING!!! I love him, but I am not in love with him. I told him I could walk away last night and not be in his life how would he feel? He told me not having me in his life would NEVER happen. I am always the one saying that and the tables have turned! When I left Cali over vacay i told him i wanted him in my life he replied baby I want 5 million dollars we can not always have what we want…. if you are stuck… STICK AROUND … PEOPLE CHANGE DO NOT GIVE UP PEOPLE. Society has a shitty way of thinking ( esp. that guy that dogged you Sydney) but dance to your own tune babies!
Well thats the thing he knows I do not want to engage in sex with anyone but him! And by fool around my guy is still exploring his ‘options’. Funny we had a lengthy conversation about this last night! In the end I told him I am not rushing this beautiful spiritual journey that I have embarked upon with him and he agreed… we literally had this happen out of nowhere… and the best part is we COMMUNICATE EVERYTHING! He told me if I moved to Cali it was a wrap he would be my boyfriend … I told him (well I laughed) because I said I did not say that shit you did and now you are putting pressure where pressure does not exist! It all boiled down to he said that he was trying to RUN… I am an aquarius I am usually the runner LOL But it is a rollercoaster and it is not for the faint of heart haha X)
Hi, Syndey –
I JUST discovered your blog and I wish I had found it 4 months ago when my boyfriend of 2 years, the love of my life, came out to me (and everyone for the first time) as bisexual. It has been a difficult adjustment, for the both of us, and we sometimes feel like we’re going it alone, which is why this blog was so refreshing to read. I have never met anyone in this situation and would love nothing more than to get coffee with you or something. I also live in Los Angeles, so this shouldn’t be too difficult.
If you’re interested, please email me. Looking forward to hearing back from you!
xo
Leah
Hi Sydney,
I am a bi male… I say bi because…
– I am attracted to men and women
– I have only dated and had sex with men
– I have kissed women but never dated or had sex with one
– I don’t feel confident with women but would prefer to marry a woman and have kids blah blah over marrying a man
How soon should I tell a woman that I’ve had had sex/dated men?
Should I tell her at all?
Hey- I think I am going to respond to these questions with a blog post. I assume you do not mind that, seeing as this comment is already public. I think discussing these questions would be helpful to other readers as well. Let me know if you have any objections!
I love your blog. Thank you so much for creating it.
I’ve suppressed my bisexuality all my life and ended up hurting my wife and its ripped our family apart when it finally surfaced. Its something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I feel trapped because it took me a long time in life to have encounters with men now men are the only sexual encounters I can have.
I have no interest in having a loving relationship with a guy but am to afraid to admit to women that I am bisexual. My ex would feel humiliated for herself and the attention it would bring to our family if I came out to anyone. Given how mush I hurt her I also do not want to put another woman through that, but am to afraid to come out to anyone that I am bi. Hence the conundrum I am in.
(WARNING HOUSE OF CARDS SPOILER!)
Im not sure if you’ve seen House of Cards but the show has a closeted bi politician. His wife knows he is bi and protects him at all costs. When it was revealed in the show he was bi I felt incredibly jealous. I know its crazy to be jealous of a tv drama but I thought, wow, thats exactly what I want but it seems as unattainable as winning the lottery.
I’ve never said any of this out loud for the world to hear. Its like I’ve just come out as Bi, still yet, nobody knows. Regardless its still scary.
First of all, I know very well what its like to be jealous of a TV drama. As someone who watches a lot of Game of Thrones, I spend a huge amount of time wishing I had pet dragons (and blonde hair). But on to more serious topics…
Jay actually watches House of Cards and was telling me about the Bi plot line. I think he said something similar, like that person was lucky in his situation with the understanding wife… But I don’t think that’s a totally unattainable situation. Have you considered trying some kind of online dating? You could just disclose your sexuality in your profile and then you’ll know that people who respond are comfortable with it. (Yes, that will deter a lot of responses, but you wont have to go through face to face rejection). You could also try finding a bi woman; I would guess that bi women are somewhat more comfortable with bi men.
Overall, I would say don’t give up. Finding a woman who understands, or at least isn’t bothered by your sexuality is not unattainable. (Not to toot my own horn, but it happened for Jay). Yes it may take a while, and yes it does require coming out to women who may not react well, but… I don’t know, I’m an optimist, so I say give it a go.
I just found out yesterday by bf is bi-curious. I had no idea, i have been with him for over a year and we just moved in together 2 weeks ago, hours away from are familys for his school. He didnt tell me i found out and confronted him, and he said it was only this one guy and they only had phone sex but he never wanted a relationship with a guy or have sex with a guy, he just talk to the one. He says he only wants me and future with me. I get scared though because he was raised very religously , and i worry he wont come to terms with it and tgen years down the line he explodes and leaves me. I know fir a fact he likes women, so really im just trying to understand how being bi works and can it really be how he says it is or will i have to worry through our relationship, i know he truley loves me and i want to know if a future with him his possible.
Being bi work differently for everyone. I think its definitely possible that he will only ever want a relationship with a woman, so what he says could very well be accurate. If I were in your position, I would make it clear to him that he can always be open and honest with me. I would also tell him that I wanted him to think over how he feels for a month or so, and then have another discussion about it- no judgements, just honesty. The reason I would give him a little while to settle down and think is because he may have felt unprepared to discuss the topic, and his answers to some of your questions may be been impulsive or rushed (since he probably wasn’t expecting to get ‘caught’). I wouldn’t take a break or stop seeing him during that month, I would just want to make sure he knows he has time to reflect on his answers, and that he can change his mind on things he said previously. I think making people feel comfortable is the best way to get honest answers out of them.