Awkward Holiday Parties

First of all I want to apologize for not posting anything in a while; truthfully, I’ve just been busy. But I will not abandon this blog, and I assure you I thought about it constantly even when I was too busy to update. Second of all, thank you for your support. I got a lot of comments and follows over the past few weeks, and I just wanted to say that it means a lot, and I am glad people can relate to this blog.

The holidays were a big part of why I was too busy to write, and even though they have been over for a couple weeks now, I still want to tell you about them. For one thing, they are important, and for another, interesting things happened. Interesting bi things.

To start the season off, Hanukkah happened, and since Jay’s step-dad is Jewish, they had a Hanukkah party, to which I was invited. I knew it would be polite to bring something, and after my brother and I raided my parents’ wine collection and realized we had no idea which wines were good, I decided a box of chocolates would be a better option.

I went to See’s Candy, and picked out an assorted box. I asked if they could gift wrap it, and it was only as I was leaving that I realized the wrapping paper was red and green and said “Merry Christmas.” I worried it might be annoying to show up to a Hanukkah party with a gift that so blatantly insisted upon the wider popularity of Christmas, so I asked if they could rewrap it in Hanukkah paper. I watched as the cashier peeled off the wrapping paper, and rewrapped it in plain white paper. Then, she reached below the counter and pulled out a single, large star of david sticker, and stuck it right on top of the box. It wasn’t gift wrap, so much as it was a label. “For Jews.” She slapped it on the way I picture things get stamped “USDA Approved” or “Contaminated” or “Contains Nuts.”

I showed the box to my brother, and he managed to peel the sticker off and place it over the tape on the back of the box, so at least it looked like it served a purpose other than announcing, “These chocolates are for Jews.” Crisis averted.

That part of the story has nothing to do with bisexuality, but it was funny so I wanted to tell it anyway.

Jay’s sexuality came up after I had arrived at the party and handed his parents the Jew Chocolates. He was showing me some decorations in the foyer, and he started telling me how last year, he was here with Bradley who ended up getting too drunk and falling asleep in the foyer. No one could find Bradley, and it ended up being quite a laugh when he was finally discovered, curled up on the couch, sleeping like a baby.

“Bradley…” I scoffed. I’ve met Bradley, and he’s actually really nice. But since he’s Jay’s ex, I always roll my eyes a little whenever Jay recounts the adorable things he used to do.

“After that he was too drunk to drive home, so I just helped him up to my room,” Jay explained.

“Hold on,” I interrupted. “Bradley slept in your room?”

“Yeah.”

“Like in your bed?”

“Yeah.”

“Like, with you also in the bed?”

“Yeah…”

“That is so unfair,” I announced. I am not supposed to sleep in Jay’s bed at his parent’s house. He has younger siblings, and his parents don’t think it sets a good example to let unmarried couples sleep in bed together. But somehow, for Bradley it was okay.

Jay sighed. “Dude, my parents thought we were just friends. They didn’t know we were… you know, fucking. My mom even asked me, just to make sure nothing was going on and I told her Bradley and I were just friends.”  (It’s worth mentioning that Jay’s mom knows he is bisexual, and that the idea that Jay might be fooling around with another guy was a very real possibility.)

I scowled. “Your mom asked you, ‘Hey Jay, just to make sure, you’re not taking it up the butt from the guy that’s sleeping in the foyer, are you?’?”

“Well, she didn’t say it like that, obviously.” Jay said. “She just asked if anything was going on with us, and I said no.”

“And she believed you? That you were just two guys friends? Two guy friends sleeping in bed together?” I asked. “Guy friends don’t sleep in bed together. Guys only sleep in bed with other guys if they are fucking.”

“I mean… maybe she suspected, but what was she really going to say?”

I had to admit, he had a point.

The bed thing is the main reason I don’t like going to Jay’s parents’ house.

I’ve waited a long time to get out of high school, and get my own place where I can tie up men with bondage tape without it being anyone else’s business (not that I do that; I’m just saying I could). It’s frustrating to visit parents and be forced back into that high school mentality; it’s extra frustrating to know that stupid Bradley didn’t have to follow the same rules.

But… I guess that’s one of the perks of having a same sex relationship; society’s rules don’t always catch you. It’s not inappropriate for people of the same gender to sleep in the same room because USUALLY they don’t screw. The fact that Bradley and Jay could sleep in the same room and screw means… they basically just got lucky. They cheated the system. Those bastards.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Awkward Holiday Parties

  1. Charlie

    This happened to me in a way. A couple years back, I was staying the night at my friends house (while he was at his parents’ house). We were both 22 at the time, drank entirely too much and I was in no condition to drive home. I had done this a few times before. He was openly bi with his parents, and I still thought I was straight at the time, so nothing happened between us (even though he had a huge crush on me, and his parents never asked my orientation). The only difference was that one of our girl friends was just as drunk as us, so she stayed over too. His parents threw a FIT and said we had to leave the door open, because they didn’t want anything going on.

    Looking back on it, maybe his parents didn’t care because they didn’t want to actively think about the possibility of things happening when two guys are in a room, and worrying about a girl in the room was a more “normal” concern. Maybe Jay’s parents have a similar mindset?

    • From a practical standpoint, I think they assume that their younger kids wont suspect anything if a guy ‘friend’ sleeps over. The kids probably don’t really know about being gay or bi, and kids have sleep overs with their same gender friends all the time, so a guy sleeping over wont raise any red flags. On the other hand, if a girl sleeps over… I don’t know, I guess it just seems more suspicious?

      I just think its interesting how orientations other than heterosexuality throw a wrench into society’s system of propriety.

  2. disconcerted72

    As unfair as it was to you, I have to admire how “normal” you reaction was. If Jay was heterosexual and an ex girlfriend got to sleep there over you, you would have been just as concerned, I am sure.

    Anyways, the story brought a smile to my face because it seemed so mainstream. Because I can tell you, my parents had no idea when I “took it up the butt” (as you so eloquently put it) when I had a friend over.

    • Hahaha, yes I have a bad mouth sometimes ^_^ I probably could have said “Jay, the gentleman retired in the foyer has never interfered with you, has he?” and left out the part about taking it up the butt. That’s probably closer to what his mom actually said anyway. She’s a very proper lady!

  3. Hi Sydney! I read this and had two thoughts: One, you experienced a double standard I think all parents employ, even when they’re not aware that they’re doing it because, two, if two guys are sharing a bed and the parents know that there is a possibility that something could happen, they’re willing to ‘overlook’ it and even chalk it up to experimentation… and no matter how old the guys are. But there are still a lot of parents who firmly believe that if you’re not married to a woman, you cannot and will not sleep with them in their homes – it’s a sign of disrespect that they won’t tolerate.

    Hell, as open-minded as I am about sex and sexuality, I know I did it with my kids; if the boys had their friends sleeping over, I didn’t think about trying to separate them even though I also knew what might be going on behind that closed door. Likewise, when my daughter had her friends stay over,I never bothered to separate them – I was too busy trying to keep the boys from sticking their horny noses in their sister’s business. But one time, my daughter’s boyfriend had to stay at the house… and he not only slept on the sofa but we were on alert for some sneaking.

    It’s a weird double standard, ain’t it? We’ll let the same sex literally sleep together and not give any thought to what they may be doing and maybe because we somehow ‘know’ that no one is going to get pregnant; if they’re in there getting busy, we just kinda look the other way (but not all parents do this) – that’s about the best explanation I can come up with for this situation.

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