I believe I’ve mentioned that Halloween is my most favoritest holiday. This year I am going to my friend Max’s block party, and I am going to bring Jay as my date. Going to the party together will be a coming out, of sorts- no not in a gay (or bi) way. In fact it is me who will be ‘coming out’; I will be ‘coming out’ as a girl in a committed relationship. I’ve never brought a serious boyfriend to a party like this before, and many of my friends have been waiting to see if it is true that the commitment-phobic Sydney really has a serious boyfriend. And I do. And I will be presenting him to all of my more distant acquaintances on Halloween.
Naturally, our costumes for this even will be of utmost importance, and Jay and I have been discussing them for a while. He offered to dress up in something matchy, but I flat out refused. Couples who wear ‘couples costumes’ make me want to barf. I told him to dress up in whatever he wanted as long as it looked hot. Thus, Jay decided he wanted to be “What Does the Fox Say”
Unfortunately, he did not have that pajama jumpsuit thing, so instead he figured he could just get the ears and tail, and the basic idea would still come across. I encouraged him to go shirtless because, while it has nothing to do with foxes, being shirtless is always appropriate when one has a bangin’ bod. So it was decided; Jay would be a shirtless fox.
Jay planned to get the fox accessories online. Lots of places sell ear and tail combos. Most of these are targeted at girls- I guess the idea is that you can wear ears and a tail with any slutty outfit, and you’re some kind of animal for Halloween. Replace the trampy corset and booty shorts with a pair of jeans, and these costumes work just as well for men. Unfortunately, the site was sold out of the “Feelin’ Foxy” accessory set- understandable, considering Jay tried to order them a few days ago (a week before Halloween). Instead, he had to go to a Halloween store to see if they had anything suitable. Tragically, they were sold out of “Feelin’ Foxy” as well, but they did have “Pretty Kitty”, a cat ear and tail combo. Jay got the idea that he could pass the cat ears off as fox ears. He also got a little dog nose mask.
When he showed me the cat ears, we had a brief discussion about whether some foxes are black. I maintain that no foxes are black, but that’s beside the point; the fox in “What Does the Fox Say” is not black. Ultimately, we did a little brainstorming and decided that Jay is not the fox from “What Does the Fox Say”; instead he is some kind of mutant furry mammal of indeterminate species… but he’s shirtless, so frankly I think he will totally pull it off.
Oh, and this is much less interesting, but I feel I should reveal what my costume will be. I will be some sort of black swan ballerina thing… maybe it’s a peacock. I’m not really sure. It’s a tutu with a peacock feather headband. I just saw it and thought it was pretty.
I feel like I should make an effort to talk about issues relating to male bisexuality in every post; after all, that’s sort of my hook. If I had called this blog, “So I’m Going to This Halloween Party…” none of you would be reading it. But unfortuantely, Jay doesn’t always do ‘bisexual’ stuff (whatever that is…) Sadly, the only way I could cram bisexuality into this topic was with an offensive joke that I decided not to make. When Jay showed me the cat ears and the dog mask, I was tempted to say, “So your halloween costume’s not really sure what it is… just like your sexuality.” BUT I did not say it. He would probably have laughed, but I’m never sure if it’s okay to make these kinds of jokes. To all the awesome bi guys out there, what do you think? Offensive or not?